Self Care for Parents
Here’s one trick about self-care you may not have heard before:
Whether we do it or not is often a matter of mental commitment.
That is to say, if we make a decision to use self-care, remove the mental barriers, and make it non-negotiable in our mind, we are much more likely to actually do it.
(However, that’s not to say that if we aren’t finding time for self-care, it’s just that we’re not thinking about it hard enough lol!)
Self-care practices come in all shapes and sizes- more on this in our next post (we’ll be posting examples of 5 minute self-care exercises!). But often what stops us from taking care of ourselves is not the uncertainty of how to do it but the permission giving aspect.
“How am I supposed to take a break when the dishes are up to the ceiling?”
“I can’t take a break when there’s so much more I should be learning about the 4 month sleep regression.”
“All I’m doing is sitting around with a baby all day. I’m not sure why I’m exhausted but I certainly don’t deserve a break.”
“I’ll take a break once the laundry is done… and the pump parts are clean… and I finish my workout… I write out the meal plan…”
“Taking a break just gives me more stress because then things pile up and I just have to face them later.”
As most of us realize, mom guilt is REAL. The pressure that we aren’t doing things well, not doing enough, or not getting enough done is often acts as a mental barrier to giving ourselves permission to use self-care. If you’re finding some of this true, try the mantras above to help remind yourself that your wellness is important!
Need some ideas of what to do? Check out some ideas below:
✨ Play the ABC game: Pick a topic and name 1 thing for every letter of the alphabet. Example- “Musicians”- Alkaline Trio, Bob Dylan, Catch-22, Dr. Dre…
✨ 3-2-1: Identify 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, and 3 things you feel (somatically, not emotionally). Then do 2, 2, 2. and 1, 1,1. Examples, I see a rainbow pride flag, I hear the fridge humming, I feel my glasses on my nose.
✨Number scavenger hunt: Look around and find items you have 1-10 of. Example, I see 1 discarded toddler shoe, 2 water bottles, 3 Amazon boxes… You can also laugh like the Count at the end if that gives you a chuckle 🦇
Do you like scrolling as self care? I certainly do! Sometime, however, scrolling can cause more harm than good.
Comparing ourselves to others’ posts is a common producer of #momguilt Scrolling past smiling faces, adorably well behaved children, and moms who “have it all together” can lead us to thinking we’re doing something wrong. If you find your feed is making you feel exhausted, guilty, or like youre failing, AND we don’t want to unfollow, try creating a separate account. By making a second IG, you get to keep all your fam and fav celebs in 1 place, while curating a sacred space for a good cleanse,some validation, or whatever the IG version of a hug is.
For an empowerment profile, follow people who:
Are like you: Do you have a full-time nanny & live in a $4M home in south Cali? No? Then why compare your life/ability to parent to hers? Follow parents who are in similar situations, share values/ goals, or are working w. the same resources.
Keep it real: Friends aren’t posting about chafed nipples due to bad latch? It doesn’t mean they don’t struggle but we start to feel like maybe we’re the only ones. Follow people who remind us we aren’t struggling alone.
Keep it balanced: find people who are showing the “keep it real” stuff, but not only the negative. Follow those who show “warts and all,” not “all warts.”
Offer ideas/ resources: When we’re going through something tough, it’s great to see what others are doing to get through it. Check in with yourself though if this begins to produce guilt that we aren’t doing enough.
Put things in perspective: Never underestimate the power of belly laughter and a good meme! Seeing our situation w/ some comedy can help us shift perspective.
Empower/ inspire: Follow those who share things that make you hopeful, give you strength, provide peace, and remind you that you’re doing a good job!
